


Vampires and Pirate Detectives

by Robottko



Series: On Mondays We Wear Red [2]
Category: Mean Girls (2004), Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Jealous Sherlock, John is pining in the background, M/M, Mean Guys alternate scene, Victor is a jerk, but Sherlock is oblivious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-30
Updated: 2014-04-30
Packaged: 2018-01-21 10:36:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1547579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robottko/pseuds/Robottko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The only reason I was at Victor’s party was because I was bored. The case had been barely progressing, and the police were being completely unhelpful. Victor had been tedious all week, begging me to come, and telling me there was something he needed to talk to me about. I had been refusing him, but there was another incentive. John Watson would be there.</p>
<p>-Sherlock's P.O.V. from the Halloween Party-</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vampires and Pirate Detectives

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Mean Girls day, everyone. This one-shot is from Chapter Five of Mean Guys. You know, that awful Halloween party we all hate to remember? I figured everyone should know just exactly what Victor told Sherlock...

The only reason I was at Victor’s party was because I was bored. The case had been barely progressing, and the police were being completely unhelpful. Victor had been tedious all week, begging me to come, and telling me there was something he needed to talk to me about. I had been refusing him, but there was another incentive. John Watson would be there.

Over the two months I had known him, John had become vital to my work. Upon first glance, I had deemed him boring, but he had proved me wrong almost immediately. John was…fascinating. Fascinating in a way he had no right to be. It was entirely unfair.

It took me longer than I thought to find him, but eventually I discovered him talking to a blonde fairy whose name I had deleted. Genevieve or Jamie or something like that.

“Why would you want to be a vampire? They’re so scary!” She told him, the flirtatious smile and wide, batting eyes making my stomach churn. John, however, didn’t seem to be reciprocating the attentions, his focus lost in the room, clearly looking for someone.

“Perhaps that is the goal.” I butt in without thought, wanting to get this girl as far away from John as humanly possible. John turns quickly, and at first I worry that I’ve upset him, but all thought flies out of my head at the sight of him. John looks…good. More than good. Suddenly I feel as though my pirate costume isn’t enough. Perhaps I should have gone with something a little flashier? “After all, you’re still trying to flirt with him even though he’s obviously disinterested. I believe scaring you away is the next best thing.”

“That wasn’t very nice.” John says to me after the pink fairy runs away, but when I glance at him, he doesn’t seem too particularly mad.

“But true.” I reply with a smirk, crossing my arms over my chest to hide the thrill John’s answering smile gives me. Supressing my urge to kiss the blond, I continue. “You weren’t interested in her. You’re too oblivious when people flirt with you, and she is too idiotic to not notice that.”

John’s seems to agree with me, and his exasperated sigh causes my grin to widen. Of course, it’s not all triumph. John may be oblivious when frivolous girls flirt with him, but he is just as blind when it comes to my own meagre attempts.

“I like your costume.” John says after a moment of silence. “I was worried you were going to be a football star or something.”

I tug at the greatcoat of my pirate costume, trying to hide how nervous I suddenly feel. Would John object if I kissed him? I am unaware of his sexuality, but it’s always possible that he’s bisexual.

“Your costume is better.” I reply with a small laugh. “I always like a good vampire story.”

“Sherlock! John! So fantastic to see you.” Victor startles John and me from our conversation. I look up just in time to see him walk over to John, his cleats making him tower over me slightly. His arm wraps around John’s shoulder, drawing him into his side. I bite back a grimace, trying for a placid smile instead.

“Hey Victor.” John and I reply in sync. Victor beams at me in response, and I just know that he needs something. What, I’m not sure.

“Can I talk to you, Sherly?” Victor all but pouts. I’m not in the mood to spend an overabundance of time with him, so my reply is cutting.

“Is that not what we’re doing now?”

“I meant over by the punch bowl.” Victor takes no notice of my tone, waving his hand towards the large crystal bowl that is almost entirely alcohol at this point. With a roll of my eyes I walk over to the table holding the bowl, turning to glare at Victor, who is now whispering to John. This cannot be good.

Victor joins me after that, a smug smile on his face.

“I’m so glad you made it to my party.” He begins happily. “And it’s good to see you being nice to John Watson.”

“Why wouldn’t I be nice to John?” I ask, “He’s easy to get along with.”

Something must have shown on my face, or perhaps it was something in how I said John’s name, for the smile on Victor’s face flickered just slightly. If I hadn’t known him well enough, I would have claimed it was a trick of the light.

“You like him, don’t you?” Victor asks.

“I don’t like people.” I say automatically.

“Yes….but you like him!”

“I find him to be…charming.” I say. The word feels inadequate in my mouth.

“God, I feel terrible that I have to be the one to tell you this.” Victor says, a false look of pity on his face. “But John’s…well, he doesn’t like you like that…”

“And how would you know?” I ask, my eyes glancing at John, who is pointedly looking away.

“He’s obsessed with me.” Victor tells me. “Has been for a while now. While I don’t blame him, I mean, who doesn’t have a crush on me? I need him to realise I just don’t feel the same way. I need your help.”

“My help.” I say flatly. It feels as though I’ve consumed a large weight, the heaviness of rejection dragging my stomach to the ground.

“Yes. I need you to be my boyfriend again. Let him know I’m…unavailable.”

“No.” I refuse, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Please?” Victor whines. “It’ll be beneficial for you too!”

“Oh, it will?”

“Yes!” Victor nods. “Then he’ll know you aren’t a desperate freak.”

I freeze at his words, and I can’t help risking another glance at John. Still looking away. “He thinks I’m a desperate freak?”

“Yes.” Victor nods solemnly. “He thinks your little mysteries are fun, but he thinks you’re clingy. And weird. I stuck up for you of course.”

“John thinks I’m a freak?” I repeat, and suddenly the overly romanticised trope of ‘broken hearts’ doesn’t seem so farfetched.  It feels as though the muscle in my chest has shattered, wounding the other vital organs as it burst.

“I know. I know. You thought he was cute and funny.” Victor simpered. “He is, but he’s just…well, he’s too good for you.”

“Then why did you date me?” I ask coldly.

“Pity fuck?” Victor shrugs. “Listen, maybe if you date me, he’ll realise you’re not so bad.”

“Not so bad?” I step away from him, and I can feel John’s eyes on me again. I feel like such a fool.

“Of course. He’ll still get you when you want to adventure and all that boring stuff, but maybe he’ll see you as someone worth dating. God, I hope he does, too, because his love for me is getting a tad annoying.”

With that Victor leans forward, pressing his lips to mine. I try to push him away at first, but the knowledge of John, sitting there and watching me, makes me stop. Making John jealous wouldn’t work, not if he finds me to be so horrid. But there is a comfort in knowing that someone desires you. It doesn’t take long until I’m returning the kiss, wrapping my arms around Victor’s shoulders.

Later, when I get a text message from John Watson, I delete it immediately, trying to ignore the pain in my chest as I do so.


End file.
